Ok, now both of the sticky notes have been removed from the machine. Spoilsports!! Who would do this? I curse you.

Another lone chip machine in the factory got raided yesterday, I hear. The guy who filled it up had left it unlocked (silly bugger) and the factory boys opened it on up and took most of the chips. I presume the chips that were left were horrible, unpopular flavours.

Blinky Bill is away next week - he is getting an operation. He is starting to tell people he is getting circumsised so people leave him alone and stop asking him about it. He is just glad to be away from work for the entire week. He cannot wait to get operated on for a week off.

As I was leaving work today, I glanced behind me at the chip machine.

Someone had replied to my note.

Stop Stalking Me

And it wasn't The Clown. We had a great laugh over this. I love to mess with peoples minds.

I am trying to help The Clown not eat chips from the chip machine.

I left a sticky note on the machine that read:

Step Away From The Machine - You Know Who You Are

He ended up finding the note, which was intended. I might put a new note on it every few days or so, bring some excitement back into this dull place. You never know, other people might think the note is for them.

I overheard Queen Bitch saying that she is going "bog snorkeling". Why you would choose to announce this to the entire office is a mystery. Perhaps this is something she does on a regular basis, maybe this is why she knows her shit smells better than mine, becuase she immerses herself in bogs.

Who knows. Who cares.

The Glam has peed on a stick and it seems she does not have diabetes. It is also her birthday. Pommie gave her a big hug which then resulted in his smelly balls. At least thats Blinky Bill's opinion.

The IT Guy has installed Active-x on my pc. This is going to make surfing the interwebz so much easier for me. I made out that it was to view a work related course on the intranet....I told him about my money making idea for Ebay, which is to buy singlets, pose in them, and offer to sell them 'unwashed' for all the weird men out there who would be keen to sniff a young girlies singlet. He seemed to think it may be a good idea, but not to go much further than the singlets. Are there really men out there that would buy this trash? I am always interested in making a quick buck.

It seems Thursday Girl is misbehaving. My ears are tingling as I try to hear all the goings on. Apparently there are whispers of her lying to her colleagues. Will inform more when it arises.

The Glam may be moving up my end of the office. We will have to be very well behaved if this is going to eventuate. If not, we may get sacked. And have to work at the Resort. Yes, we have a brothel at the end of our street. Nice.

The Glam thinks she may have Diabetes, pending confirmation. What will this mean to the assorted birthday cakes that the staff flock to like flies around a fresh pile of dung. She will now have to look longingly at said cakes.

Female Elton John are you not capable of looking at your own phone list? Do I look like I know every single person who works out in the factory, I sure hope not. Go away and stop invading my precious cubicle.

Once again our computer system requires a shut down. I believe this has something to do with The Clown copying over the price book yesterday, it seemed to slow down the entire system and he even commented that it maye cause a shut down. Good work, Clown!

Suit week can be fun. It is similar to messing with peoples minds. The Clown only had 10 minutes to get ready this morning so he neglected to wear a suit. He has already had several comments on why he wasn't wearing a suit today. The One Who Looks Like Elton John But It's a Female and also The Mistake have commented already. Tee hee.

I was rather taken aback when The Animal Hater declared she wanted a moped for delivering paperwork from desk to desk, which is roughly 2 metres away. This could explain her rapidly expanding waistline.Today a bunch of Corpses posed for a retirement photo of some Old IT Guy that is retiring. They grabbed a large piece of card, with the words "Happy Retirement" written on it in a messy nikko scrawl.....who says this company is cheap?

Today forms day 3 of suit week. At least The Clown, The Glam and I are wearing suits. We want to throw some sexy back into the dull goings on and make everyone step up to our level.

This will not happen. They simply aren't hot enough.

I think today is performance review day...at least, thats what I was gathering when My Boss starts yelling out that he enjoys iced donuts. It really would help if he would confirm what day I should bring in the iced donuts.

Seems trivial to suck up to an already predecided, regimented pay rise. Oh boy! Look, it's 2.5% again this year! Thats enough to buy me a Dior bag. Another one.

My job is weird.

Or rather, the people at my job are weird.

This will be an opportunity to tell all about my workmates (using their initials - or nicknames) and vent some frustration....

Here we go.